Dungeon Dash

We used eeeeeeeeeevery last bit of the preparation time Prince Leonhardt gave us and got ourselves fully ready.

Alright, let's head into the dungeon, Your Highness.

"Oh. I went ahead and cleared out the monsters inside the dungeon, yo. We push as far as we can before they respawn, yo!"

"Hey Alto, you hogged all the XP for yourself!? Isn't that unfair!?"

"Shut up, yo! I'm the only one who didn't get a bonus round of crafting XP, so I've got every right to at least this much, yo!?"

Tch, fair point!

We did get to grind XP to our hearts' content… I was actually feeling a little guilty about it!

"…Clearing out the dungeon's monsters?? Can you even do that?"

"Don't worry about it, let's just hurry as far as we can, yo, Prince. Based on my trial run, repop takes half a day, yo."

"You've already tested this once!? …As expected of the Spirit-Possessed, truly extraordinary…"

"So since we need to move fast, I had Penpen-shi put together a palanquin to carry you in, yo, Prince."

"A palanquin…? You say?"

There it was: a palanquin straight out of a period drama, bamboo blinds fitted onto a frame of square-cut wooden poles.

The kind where the carriers go 'Outta the way, ya fool! Fastest legs in Edo!' …Or something like that? I dunno.

"We're carrying you in this, yo."

"I'm perfectly capable of walking on my own, you know."

"You're too slow. You'd just hold us back, yo. Grab onto the straps inside tight so you don't get thrown off, yo."

"…Very well. I'll comply."

Oh, it even has straps. Huh, pretty legit!

We had the prince climb into the palanquin.

Actually, forget the palanquin; couldn't we have just hidden him in a carriage or something from the start so he wouldn't be visible and his skill wouldn't… ah, nope. The moment the prince climbed in, I started feeling this intimidating presence radiating from the palanquin, like I was being stared down. Yeah, there's no way he could travel incognito like this. What an inconvenient skill.

"Alright Tria, pick up your end, yo!"

"Hm? What's the gag there?"

"You know the saying 'to carry one end of the pole,' yo? One theory says it comes from palanquin carriers, yo!"

"Huh, look at you knowing stuff. Okay, leave it to… ah, hold on."

I actually tried lifting the pole. …Hmm. Just as I thought.

"Tria-chan's too short; it'll tilt to one side. Let's swap in Gin-chan."

"Ah right, I forgot about the height thing, yo. Gin-chan then… or rather, Penpen-shi, if you would, yo. Tria, you're on skirmish duty, yo."

"Okay."

And so, with the prince loaded into the palanquin, we set off into the dungeon!

Not counting the prince since he was our escort target, our party ran a five-person formation. Penpen-chan stayed behind on house-sitting duty; Nika-chan and Gin-chan were the palanquin carriers. Alto took point as our guide, I was the roaming skirmisher watching the surroundings, and Miitei-chan clung to the palanquin as the prince's bodyguard and rear lookout.

"Nika-chan. Palanquin carriers chant 'heave-ho, heave-ho' while they run, yo!"

"H-heave-ho, heave-ho…?"

"That's right, yo! It keeps you in sync with your partner, yo!"

"Th-that's what she says, Penpen-sama. H-heave-ho! Heave-ho!"

"Roger! Heave-ho, heave-ho, hup-hup-hup!"

"Sh-she's already freestyling it!?"

Looks like they're having fun. Maybe I should've volunteered for carrier duty after all.

By the way, our travel speed? Full sprint.

If centrifugal force swung the palanquin wide on a corner and it slammed into a wall, the prince would absolutely suffer compound fractures at this pace.

In practice, though, Miitei-chan was clinging to the palanquin and would shove it back with a 'hup!' of her tentacles whenever that happened, keeping him safe.

…Miitei-chan, so dependable!

At this point, might as well just stuff the prince inside her body and carry him that way. …He'd suffocate, though.

Just then, Alto suddenly fired her gun with a thunderous bang. A beat later came the crunch of something hard getting crushed, so it must've been a clean hit.

"They're starting to respawn a bit, yo."

"Seriously? Come to think of it, what kind of monsters spawn in this dungeon again?"

"Bugs and spiders and stuff, yo."

"Yep, Alto. Feel free to snipe them all from range. Don't hold back."

"Nah, I'd feel bad taking them all, yo. Want me to send a few your way, yo?"

"Please don't! Seriously, don't!"

"Yo ho ho, Tria's scared of bugs, yo?"

"Through a screen is one thing, but in VR Mode it's a bit much… There's no mosaic filter on creepy or gross monsters, y'know… Even though lewd stuff gets the mysterious beam of light treatment."

"True, yo."

Well, I suppose it's better than a mosaic getting you killed mid-combat because you can't see the enemy.

…

"Hey Alto. If a girl Zombie had a wardrobe malfunction, do you think the game would flag it as lewd, or would combat take priority and leave it uncensored?"

"Hmm, depending on where, I think it'd get flagged as lewd, yo. Actually, if it were uncensored, wouldn't that mean there's an attack gimmick tied to that spot, yo?"

"Right, whether there's an attack gimmick tied to it or not. That's a real possibility… Man, I hope we run into a girl Zombie sometime."

"Not in this dungeon, at least, yo."

Bummer.

Well, trading quips like that, we barreled through the dungeon at full speed.