Poison Magic and Spices

Since Summer currently works as my dedicated maid, she knows about my Pota — er, Poison Attribute.

Summer had a question.

"Come to think of it, Ojou-sama. Spicy things are poison, right?"

"Oh my. Are they?"

"Yes. Because they're spicy, right? That's proof the body rejects them! In other words, poison! They make your mouth hurt!"

"… Now that you mention it, that might be so."

Chili peppers, for example. It hurts terribly so if it gets into your eyes.

That's undeniably a harmful effect on the body. In other words, poison!

"So, could you use your magic to produce this spice in greater quantity?"

"… Spices! Fufufu, Summer, you do have flexible ideas, don't you?"

Smirking, Koleha accepted some peppercorns.

And then produced it — pepper powder! She could. She could just produce it at will!

It cost some magical power and made her a little tired, but it felt like she could still produce plenty more.

(Is Poison Magic perhaps actually a cheat…?)

Koleha suddenly felt chills at her own talent, rather at how lax Poison Magic was.

Come to think of it, oxygen and carbon dioxide are 'poisons' at certain concentrations. Koleha knew that. Those elements were ubiquitous on the surface, so there was no trouble finding catalysts.

Pepper too, but she could likely create salt as well. Since both Na and Cl in isolation are poisons. And she knew that too much salt is harmful to the body.

So she had salt brought and tried producing that as well. It came out.

"Whoa, you can produce salt too!?"

"Pepper is rather the harder one… Together they're salt-and-pepper. I bet they'd be delicious on meat."

"Ojou-sama's magic is amazing…! A magician of the dinner table…!"

"… Fufu."

This was usable. Koleha smirked.

In her mind, a terrifying plan was being drawn.

1. Sell spices cheaply

2. Massive blow to existing merchants. Shops go under

3. Suddenly halt the supply of salt-and-pepper

4. Salt-and-pepper disappears from the city, and bland meals spread

5. While watching that, eat delicious food seasoned with spices.

— Yes, it would be delicious!! In two senses!!

Also, spices are close to being considered luxury goods. Not having them isn't immediately fatal. Well, that didn't apply to salt, so she could let that circulate moderately.

Rather, she could use "I'm not feeling well right now, so I can only produce this much salt" as a cover… what a perfect plan.

Fufufu… kukuku… Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!! In her heart, Koleha executed a villainess's triple-tiered laugh.

"Say, Summer. Do you think this will sell?"

"Yes! It will, without a doubt, Ojou-sama!"

"Indeed, right! Spices are light and sell at high prices! Summer, I command you: go sell this salt and pepper! Ten percent is your share!"

"Aye-aye! With cash, anything is possible! One, two, three — Ojou-sama!"

Half-squinting at the weird chant, Koleha entrusted Summer with the salt and pepper. She also gave her a slapdash letter of permission stating, "I, Koleha, have authorized her to sell this."

And so began Koleha's double-delicious scheme.

 

＊ ＊ ＊

 

"Summer? I certainly told you to go sell it, but what's this?"

"Yes! I sold it at five times the going price!! Here you go!!"

Summer returned with a bulging coin pouch.

That was obviously a huge profit.

"My, my. I assumed we'd sell below market to rake in money… How did you sell it at five times the going price?"

"They asked where it came from, but we're keeping Poison Magic a secret, so I only said, 'Ojou-sama's homemade salt-and-pepper'… Then an auction started on the spot and, one thing led to another, it sold for five times."

Even Koleha widened her eyes at this.

"Why such a price!?"

"Ojou-sama, because of spreading the medicinal herbs, you're incredibly popular among the townsfolk."

In other words, a premium for 'Ojou-sama Koleha' had been added to the product itself.

Also, since it was known that Summer was attached to Koleha, she was trusted. Even that slapdash letter of permission had been pointlessly effective.

"… This way, I can't damage the market price!"

"Eh, Ojou-sama. Are you going to produce enough salt-and-pepper to move the market price? Selling by the ton would be tough for me alone, you know?"

"… "

Even if producing salt-and-pepper hadn't tired her much, that was only about quantities that fit in a pouch.

And the ones who could buy spices in bulk were the merchants who already handled them, and selling cheaply to them wouldn't have much effect. That being the case, she'd have to produce enough to replace the producers.

Also, given that the meals on otome-game dates wouldn't possibly be bad, salt-and-pepper and other spices were fairly widely distributed. To deal a blow to that, kilograms would be nowhere near enough.

In other words, production by the ton was essential. And on a regular basis.

That was impossible! She'd die of magical depletion…!

Thus, Koleha's double-delicious scheme collapsed, and peace at the dinner table was preserved.

"Tch. It can't be helped. We'll leave it at that this time… As for your reward, Summer, I'll pay in salt-and-pepper in kind!"

"On the contrary, please do pay in kind. I'll make it my family treasure!"

She'd intended it as a tease, but it delighted her.

"Family treasure, aren't you an orphan? You plan to keep some salt-and-pepper until you get married?"

"But of course? Because it's Ojou-sama's salt-and-pepper! I'll make it our treasure for generations! I'll have my children guard it! And on the celebration of adulthood, I'll permit them one pinch!"

"O-oh."

A little nonplussed, Koleha nevertheless produced salt-and-pepper and gave it to Summer.

It was a pouch of decent size; if they took one pinch per generation, it would likely last to the very end of the line.

"Ah, and put half in my coffin! If I don't have children, I'll be the end of the line and get it all to myself!"

"Sounds like it'll make the corpse delicious."

"The afterlife being delicious thanks to Ojou-sama's salt-and-pepper… perfection!"

"Summer, are you okay in the head? Are you tired from studying? You're my hands and feet; I can't have you anything short of perfect."

"Aaaaaah! Thank you for your concern! My fatigue just vanished!!"

Koleha was genuinely worried about her maid.

As a final note: the salt-and-pepper sold at this time had an unusually high salt purity, and for various reasons later came to be enshrined as 'Holy Salt-and-Pepper' — but that is another story.